leslie virginia dean alterman

quick stream of consciousness

2012-02-10T02:59:00.000-08:00

what's going on RIGHT now:

raising 3 boys, went to my second graders "science night" last night and had to fight off the guilt I had. I was "shoulding all over myself, "you SHOULD be more invalid in Q's School, you SHOULD know more people, you SHOULD be volunteering more, even when you were a room mom you SHOULD have been better.....OMG!!!!! I get so crazy at school functions. Really not good at it;(

feeling really good about my health and wellness. working under the guidance of a new trainer. He is teaching me about nutrition and I am on the path to being the in the best shape I've ever been in!!

growing my hair long...AGAIN

Cleaning and organizing my studio...quite and undertaking, but it is so cool of a process. I want to stop and start painting and getting into all my things...but I am not. I am feeling so creative right now...love it!

there's more, but, alas I must go and get the kids off to school....getty up!

Happy New YEar!

2012-01-05T14:07:00.000-08:00

Hello. I have abandoned my blog. I have been meaning to write. I have thought about it and thought about it and said, oh, Ill get to it tomorrow...tomorrow is here.
I have had our baby since I last posted.

Isn't he cute?
Well, that's all for now. I have to get dinner on the table. I just had to begin AGAIN.

Love to you and may your year be blessed!

Why I love taking your picture....

2011-04-26T18:12:00.000-07:00

I love taking pictures of people. I feel so fulfilled in the connection and discovery that occurs when I am taking pictures. There is nothing else going on in my head but being completely present with the ones I see through the lens. What will I learn? What will be revealed? What new experience will I have. What is your story? What will we share? THAT's the stuff I am living for. To capture authentic essence of a person or persons. (I HOPE).

Today was a beautiful example of why I so enjoy my work. I got to re-connect with an old friend from High School. We haven't seen each other in quite some time. She has two beautiful children. They were so much fun. The little girl LOVED nature. She was all about exploring the bugs and any other living creatures...she would courageously climb steep hills of kudzu in her flip flops and I would follow. She made me brave. She made me see the world through her eyes and I walked in places I would have never had gone before, had it not been for her adventurous spirit. Thanks Ava!

The little boy was eight and he was seemingly introverted. A bit more reserved and took time to warm up to me. In fact not sure he ever did. I really respect that, though. He reminded me that respect has to be earned and that being cautious is a really wise thing. He too, very adventurous and playful with nature. I enjoyed his sweet nature and boy-ness.

They were interested in the camera and as a "treat" I let them each take a few shots at the end of the session. love that!

As for my girlfriend. I saw the love she has for her children and listened to her recent choices she has made to better her life and the lives of her kids. She is courageous and brave. That too, is very inspiring and I revere her STRENGTH! She is also in KICK-ASS shape. She fights. Nuff-said!

Here are some photos from today...enjoy!

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beach trippin'

2011-04-09T10:57:00.000-07:00

So, we went to Destin for spring break. Beautiful. We shared time with our family and made memories. The kids...all five of them...were very entertaining. The only way to do spring break with five children and only 2 moms is to completely surrender to the chaos and mayhem. Chaos is all 5 of them talking (loudly) at once. Fighting, whining, asking for things CONSTANTLY, asking for things constantly more than once....feeding, fixing, preparing, cleaning. Laughing, stressing,,,,sunscreening, time-outing, hair-pulling, arm-pinching, good time!

Here are some images:

in my belly

2011-03-19T04:55:00.000-07:00

Is a 9 week old fetus....OMG!

I wake up everyday and pinch myself...is this really happening?

This was so not planned. I wanted another child, very much so, indeed. Scotchman, however, not so much. He was open to adoption, but going through another pregnancy with me...well, let's just say it's been a roller coaster...for those of you that don't know our story, keep reading.

This is our Fourth FULL TERM pregnancy. We have only two children to show for it, though. We are so incredibly blessed with our two sons, Quentin an Gabe. Our Daughter Lucy was born in between the two of them and she was stillborn at 36 weeks of pregnancy. Completely unexpected and completely devastating...

I guess for me, after having Gabriel and upon the combination of his turning 4 and me being 36, I began to grieve the end of Scott and I having children. He was not wanting and I still deep down wanted one more, but was really ok with honoring Scott and being incredibly grateful for our two sons. Secretly, longing for another child.....

A bit of back info. I have had an IUD since I had Gabe. 4 years....so, to find out we were pregnant WAS TOTALLY SHOCKING AND nothing short of MIRACULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, when looked at through ultrasound my IUD was in perfect placement.

I see this as a miracle. There is no other explanation...the timing...why this happened now and not in the previous 4 years? I had finally surrendered to NOT having another child....how did that happen when the IUD was in perfect position?

BAFFLING.

When I knew I was pregnant I went to the Dr. and they validated, indeed, I was pregnant, I had no idea that the next 6 weeks would be a complete test of faith. they knew I was pregnant, but couldn't find the pregnancy...uh, what? They thought for sure it was ectopic...I then had to go to the Dr. every other day and get lab work to watch my levels increase as normal...where was the pregnancy, though? I went back two weeks later to find......a gestational sac in my.....UTERUS....YAY! Turned out I just caught my pregnancy SUPER early.
We were so stoked to have gotten to this point and our hearts were so full of hope. the Dr. was no showing me any signs of hope, though. They still were not giving me the feeling I was in the clear;( they needed to see a heart beat, oh, and they needed to take out the IUD and the baby needed to survive that....miscarriage risk incredibly HIGH.
So, we walked through that. No signs of miscarriage. I was totally fine.

We went bah at week 6, saw a heartbeat, I got my due date....Dr's still worried.....

Went back week 9, Dr.'s smile, congrats!!!! Your looking REALLY good, this baby is meant to be.......NO SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!

I really feel I need to share this story. It is one of hope and faith. I feel so lucky to experience this level of closeness to my creator and I don't think I am doing it justice. I am not sure if I can express the depth and weight of what this feels like to me. It's INCREDABLE! It's a FULL circle moment happening...I'm testifying;) My Grandmother would be so proud.

That's our story...stay tuned;)
LOVE, LIGHT and HOPE.

my loves

2011-03-18T17:19:00.001-07:00

Miracles Happen

2011-02-24T03:12:00.000-08:00

did you know that miracles happen?
they do.
I am living proof.
and so are you.

I am in the midst of many a miracle. I love being in the flow of my creator. Leaning in to the simplicity, love, and care of the source greater than I.

I am not claiming to understand this power what-so-ever. I simply practice. This is part of my life's exploration. If I tap in. If I choose to notice, I can see the workings of this source. It is a joy to be in this place. Surreal, in fact. There is a calm strength in KNOWING. Knowing that something greater is at work. Once I acknowledge and honor that, I can see with new eyes. That's all I really have to do. Be willing to look and see. Be open. Pay attention. Then I surrender to that source. Acknowledging, I am small.

I am so very grateful for this place in my life. I didn't always have faith, connection, or hope. i have come a long way and I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to live in the sunlight of my creator.

For those that are hopeless, addicted, lost, know that I've been there....I knew that place well. I want you to know there is HOPE....it is gentle and kind and POWERFUL.

I encourage you to ask for a miracle. ask to see the miracles. They are all around us all the time. We just need notice.
Then give thanks.
Try it. It can't hurt.

Light and Love,
LA

life is so sweet

2011-01-30T16:41:00.001-08:00

now a poem...

sunday's word portrait
free day smiles
bookstore inspiration
crisp air
hipstasyncronistic process
notice the trust?

next up....dream cut

2011-01-28T10:55:00.001-08:00

it's time to get a hair cut and I was CRUSHING on Stepanie S...in dinner for schmucks...her hair is AWESOME! so, I look her up and sad to find NO cute pix of her hair;(((
BUT, did come across JULIEand her cute hair...(now steady crushing on her;) so, what do ya think?

pnutbutterjellytime! where you at?

2011-01-28T03:33:00.000-08:00

oh...and uh...

2011-01-27T14:53:00.000-08:00

some days in the life...incase ur wondering

2011-01-27T14:44:00.001-08:00

Pretty much in LOVE with my life. I give thanks for all of it...even the parts that hurt and are ugly...they make the times that feel good feel that much better and prettier, too:)

That's Q rollerskating BTW...he's got the goony glow glasses...at least he didn't choose the stupid glow in the dark pacifiers that the other children had in their mouths...ew!

SHINE ON!
oxox

beautiful things are happening;)

2011-01-26T03:35:00.001-08:00

such as...my 7 year old got braces...WHAT???? Is he really getting braces? It's bitter sweet, I tell ya.

We have been spending time watching videos of our family the past few days. What a great way to spend time together as a family.
The kids get to see themselves, there little selves. I get to look at my parenting and celebrate, I AM a good mom!!!!!! I am always thinking in my little head that I am not good enough as a mother because:
I am not at the schools enough and I could care less about re-zoning and know nothing about it
I am not gardening with my kids
I don't always read to them at night....it goes on and on and on, these voices in my head...
BUT, in watching these videos I can SEE and HEAR what I DO!!!! I do a lot. I am a good mother because, I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. I speak lovingly and kindly to my children MOST of the time. I am PRESENT for them, I am emotionally available, I am conscious.
I go to every game, I show up for conferences, I cook with love, I am silly, we dance, we do art, I wipe fannies, I cuddle, I do homework, I find tutors when I can't, I have been doing a lot of research for my little one on hid learning differences...I am a great mother.
For me the negative voices are free...they come easily, without effort. The positive truth is much more difficult. I have to look and see. I must train myself to look at was is true RIGHT NOW. What am I doing right now...GIVE THANKS....that is after all my NY resolution...

On another POSITIVE NOTE:

I am working on a commissioned painting...OMG!
I am so thrilled that someone thought to ask me to collaborate on a gift for his wife, whom is expecting there first child. (awwww) This project is pushing me to grow and spread my artistic wings. It is challenging to work with someone...this isn't about me and what I like, it's about applying what I do and incorporating someone elses life and love. SUPER challenging. I have drifted off into my own vision FOR them FROM my experience...but quickly get re-directed to their story...and I want to quit ( in my head I hear...YOU CAN'T DO THAT) Then I have to tell the voice. I can do this. I have to try. I have to KEEP trying. I say to myself and my friend this is a process. It is an unfolding. We are uncovering and discovering together. Finding our way as we go.
Did I mention that I LOVE IT? It is really coming together nicely and at the end of the day it is a great experience.

On another note. I entered a photo contest for Matilda Jane..and I wasn't one of the 50 chosen ones for the round 2...HEARTBREAK! I didn't realize how much I really wanted it until I didn't get it.500 people entered. I wanted validation that I am a good photographer through them. It didn't happen. So, back to believing in myself and TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE. I am finding my way. I am leaning on FAITH. I am listening to MY KNOWER. I am dusting myself off when I fall...and loving it...

I need pics for this post, but they are on my iphone and I don't feel like dealing...sometimes if I don't have pics I won't post because I feel like pics are what ppl want....I am gonna just post for the sake of posting and sharing my experience and life exploration...love hearing from you!!!!! CONNECT.

Light and Love,
LA

i'm in love...

2011-01-25T16:15:00.001-08:00

with roller skating. We went this weekend and after one session I bought my own skates and I am goin back this weekend. Anyone want to join me?

a creative circle begins....

2011-01-13T04:57:00.000-08:00

This may not be the best forum to broadcast this....never-the-less....I am beginning a creative circle. This has always been a dream of mine. However, I am at a loss on how to organize and run one...so, I will do what I usually do. Jump and expect a net.
I want the circle to be a small group of women whom are creative and desire to teach and learn from one another.
I need to see a show of hands on who's in....
Then a plan will follow.

Alan and Beth are to be married;)

2011-01-11T05:46:00.001-08:00

Before all the snow came to town, I did this photo shoot. It was fun to be with such a fun-loving couple. Thanks A&B;)

here's a peek...

2011-01-10T13:58:00.000-08:00

Art Journaling is something I love. It's complete freedom and exploration. It is art brainstorming and it's for my eyes only...unless I want to share. Which, in this case I do. Just to say, if it peeks an interest in you, DO IT...it has been such a great way for me to evolve in my art processes and it is just plain fun.
Happy Art Journaling;_

Today........

2011-01-08T15:16:00.000-08:00

not so much;(
Cabin fever, hubby with flu, kids fighting and whining...preparing for an "ice storm". Ugggg, CALGON...take me away!!!!!

Better luck tomorrow....In fact it will be eery exciting to shoot a cutie pie couple's engagement photos! YAy! I will share those with YOU tomorrow...oh, and I entered the Matilda Jane contest today...I will keep you posted on the haps with that as well...(wish me luck)

Peace and sweet dreams.
xo
la

ONE WORD

2011-01-04T18:14:00.000-08:00

I went to visit SHUTTER SISTERS where I find the entry on 1-1-11. It's about choosing one word to live into for 2011.

Speaking of sisters, I was talking to my sister today and she shared with me her thoughts on gratitude and how it helps her in her law of attraction. My sis is a wiz at "the secret". I REALLY need to focus my attention and energy on GRADITUDE. I had sooooo sososososososo much to be grateful for.

BOOM, my word, my one word is GRADITUDE.

what will your word be?

LEAVE ME A COMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE THEM;)

Please check her out....

2011-01-04T17:41:00.000-08:00

AMY;) click here

comments are always welcome and ever-so-aprreciated....xo

my favorite time of day.....

2011-01-04T17:31:00.000-08:00

RIGHT NOW IT'S night night time.

I am really in love with how comfy my bed is. I am warm and cozy. The kids are asleep. Trashy reality T.V. of choice.
Blogging, surfing, dreaming......sleeping.......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2011, let's shift the world a bit...

2011-01-03T03:44:00.000-08:00

I LOVE Gurilla art. I love using it to surprise people and spread love, joy and kindness...Imagine, you're on your daily walk to the bus stop to get the kids when you come across a special package that says...this is for you...open me;) It's glorious and beautifully packaged....do you look the other way? Do you take it and open it? Open it and find something AWESOME, a gift just for you, from an anonymous person....WEll, you gotta check this out....here

Let's do this! There is a law. It's the law of attraction. What you put out you get back. Imagine a world of kindness. We all have a deep desire to love and be loved. Let's put this idea into action. What if we put more energy into love than fear this year? I'm IN!

Leave me a comment or send me photos of your adventures. This is a GREAT thing to do with the kids by the way. Quentin and I hung sweet letters on trees all through the woods one time. We have also made things and wrapped them and left them on park benches, etc.

Love, Blessings, and Life explorations!
xo-LA

ahhh a new year....

2011-01-02T04:32:00.000-08:00

Hello, greetings. It is my intention to do this BLOG thang this year.
I love writing and sharing. I adore feedback, too. That is really a plus for any blogger. To know that you are out there reading.

My goal this year 2011, is to journal daily...so far so good. It is a photo journal of myself, Scott and kidos. Just to see us throughout the year. Some of which I will share here. I am motivated to move more mindfully and to be more present this year in all that I do. TALL ORDER. But, in doing so, I find I have more to share here...

Todays photos are ones I am thinking of submitting to a contest of sorts. It's for a brand called Matilda Jane.
They were introduced to me by, our cousin Amy. She has a daughter who wears this brand and NO OTHER;) So, Amy thought of me for a contest they had to capture some of there clothing on girls....check it out if you are a photog.
I was thrilled to challenge myself and it totally INSPIRED me!!!!!! Thank you AMY! Her daughter is beautiful on the inside and out. It was so cool to work with her, her friends ( Ella and Katie). I also, took some of my fav. girl in my hood, Lydia. Can't say enough about Lydia. She's such an inspiration. Her spirit is soooooo beautiful. I wanted to capture it!!!!

I would LOVe your feedback on these...which to submit is my question!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP! oh, also, if you have a daughter, check out there site. Cutest girlie clothes ever!

As for you and your new YEAR, I wish you Peace, Blessings and LOVE.
xo-
LA

What's in a picture?

2010-11-19T03:57:00.000-08:00

This is my favorite question to answer. My LOVE, obsession, passion for a photo began when I was old enough to realize if I press this button I will eventually get another glimpse of this moment that I can hold onto for as long as I choose. Ultimately, it was my father who was my BIGGEST muse. My father has been and forever will be a mystery to me. When I was young he would come around every so often ( when he felt like it) and he was a celebrity in my eyes. I only heard stories of him and when he came around he didn't treat us like kids, we were his pals. So, it was all fun with my super-hero Dad. The thing I always knew intuitively was that I didn't know when he would come around again...it could be months but probably it would be years. I knew the only way to hold this man was to PHOTOGRAPH him. Fortunately, he always had a camera and LOTS of film, I would shoot away as if it were a digital. I remember him asking me to take it easy and not take so many at one time....I could care less. I HAD to capture every moment. It will never be here again, even more feared, YOU (dad) may not be here again.

It's haunting how my little soul knew so much back then. It is true that my father ( now estranged) has disappeared for a very long time. He may die without me getting to see him again. I have my photos, though. I get to choose to remember him as he is in the photos. I remember the times he DID SHOW UP. AND, when he did show up he showed UP BIG!!!! I showed up too....camera ready!
CHERISH what few photos that I still have of him. In the bigger picture I am grateful that that experience ignited in me the PASSION I have for photography. The ART of it. The heART of it. What it provides us with is incredible. CAPTURING A MOMENT. When we look at them we can be transported to that place, feel those same feelings, remember smells, textures.....RECALL. It can bring up emotion, it can help you grieve, celebrate, heal and learn, smile, laugh.

I am now a mother and a wife. I take pictures constantly and in June made it my career. I deeply care about the photograph. I use all I have to capture moments that will matter to you. Even if not this moment, it may be later...

I have lots of people ask can you cover up my sons pimple, take off their braces, clean up the boogers. I can. I always say to them, though. That is what is really going on. I have many a picture of my kids boogers, food on face....I rarely touchup. I want to remember it all,,,,how it really was for better or worse. I am shooting from a photojournalistic style. I am telling a story. I am telling your story.I am capturing your moments in time. You will come to love all the shortcomings and all the imperfections, because that IS what was REAL! Mother's often opt not to have there bellies photographed while pregnant.....inner dialogue "I am fat, and I never want there to be proof I was this big"....I thought that, I am glad I did it anyway, these photos are my heart...especially the ones I took while Lucy was in my belly, she ended up dying at birth and now I have pictures of her in my belly;)
I so deeply value and honor the opportunity I get to step into people's lives and tell there story. It is always an honor if they don't clean the house or come to me as real and as authentic as they can. It makes for some really good pictures.

LET's get together and capture some memories, shall we???

Trendy Twin Shop...RoCks!

2010-09-04T18:59:00.001-07:00

Distressed, I think I love you...

2010-08-24T08:32:00.000-07:00

Check it:

I love photos....and the WILEY's!

2010-07-24T05:34:00.000-07:00

These photos were a labor of love FOR SURE. The Wiley's were great. It was 1000 degrees, late July in GA. HUMID, and Mosquitos were extra friendly. But you'd never know it. We managed to capture greatness. It was a group effort and ALWAYS is. So, thanks Wiley's for a wonderful day;)

Studio shots!!!

2010-07-05T08:11:00.000-07:00

I am playing with my new studio...fun!!! Here are some test shots takin today. My boys and some self-portraits...don't judge too harshly, we just got out of bed. I LOVE outdoor spontaneous shooting, studio and indoor shooting is new to me...let me know what you think:)
xo
LA

The babies of MJCCA Kids ZOne

2010-07-03T05:27:00.000-07:00

Latest and Greatest!

2010-06-25T04:30:00.000-07:00

How's your summer?

2010-06-06T06:37:00.001-07:00

I looooveeeee summer time!! don't you?

most bestest weekend ever

2010-05-31T18:25:00.001-07:00

I hung out with this one a WHOLE LOT!! We celebrated our eight year anniversary in sTyLe....and went to the Four SEASON's hotel. We had an 80 min. Thai massage and ate the colest best 10 grapes after that I had ever had...and we sat and stared into each other's eyes. Smiling. Eversohappily.....we were 30 min. from home but it felt like a million miles away. So relaxed. So thankful.

Be where your feet are

2010-05-30T06:18:00.001-07:00

Just another way of saying be in the moment....it is such freedom. Everything is always ok in the moment.

Look for the miracle. Keep your mouth shut and listen. Practice..

what's up with me?

2010-05-23T19:35:00.000-07:00

Well, I am run/ walking.
obsessing less about body image.
nursing my littlest man back to health ( recovering from pnemonia).
soooo stoked it's summer time;)!!!
JUST OFFICIALLY STARTED MY BUSINESS!!!!!!! Come visit me @ www.lesliealtermanphotography.com

What's up with you?

DRUM ROLLLLLLL Please!

2010-05-14T13:11:00.000-07:00

I am about to kick off my career into photography. I have been shooting random catalogs for SA's biz ( THE ICEBOX). Shooting friends and family...and thought, ok, it's time. I can do this. Soooo, as soon as my web-site is up I will let y'all know. My sister is designing for me;) please visit her at http://WWW.HATCHHOUSE.NET.

Yo Mama!

2010-05-09T16:39:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well........I have to write about this year's Mother's day! It was the BEST yet. I awoke at 530 am. My mind whirling. I was anxious. We had invited my ma in law and her mom over for brunch. Scott said he was cooking and would take care of everything....yet, I hadn't yet heard what exactly the plan was....I had a plan....it was a real good thing I woke up at 545am. I needed to CENTER. I wrote a long blog this morning, only it got erased...I was processing Ali that was going on in my mind. basically about EXPECTATIONS of Mother's Day. naming them and seeing what I saw. I saw, a woman (me) whom was starting the day off with a good- ole fashioned pre-meditated resentment.

I saw I hadn't yet communicated with SA. I didn't know his plan. I was making plans (control) and I had already gotten pissed that he wasn't going to do it all...blah, blah, blah...
So, this year I did things differently.
First of all. First to awake was my FIRST BORN SON, Q. he came and loved on me and I remembered what this day was REALLY all about. He gave me the most precious book, he wrote and illustrated all about me. It was great. Then SA woke up. We talked about the day and he took care of almost everything. STORE< COOKING< CLEAN UP...he is totally amazing. if I will simply allow him to be.

Well, I hope you all treated your mother's kindly and if YOU are a Mother..Happy HAPPY to ya!

Here are some new pics of Q's field day;

LAuDry Mat LOVE

2010-05-02T05:04:00.000-07:00

Hello folks...been a while. I have been dreaming of summer. Enjoying my babies and awaiting the Mister's arrival home..(he's been gone almost a week).

This week was crazy. Without Scott. jake the DOG was bit by a snake. Of corse it was at 6pm AFTER The vet closed and I was on my way to putting the kids to bed early...He's fine. It was a lesson in snakes, for sure. Where they live. What kind we have around. Dif between poisonous and not. this was a big-in! Huge bite mark. Jake has 9 lives, I swear!

Anyway, our washing machine is broken, so we enjoy a weekly trip to the laundry mat. I must say, I rather enjoy it. I love the woman who owns it. She is really sweet to me. We had an instant connection;) I love the sounds of waher and dryer. It really comforts me and to have 20 all at once...uber comfort! ( me, one is good 20 is waaaaay better, always!) I love some good HARD work. there is no ac in the place and so you sweat a lot. The kids love putting the quarters in, help loading clothes in, playing hide and seek in the laundry mat, running back and forth to the "car fort" and back. They get to see hard work being done. They are bored.

I like for them to be bored. It's good for them to work and be bored. They have super schedules all the time and it's all about hem so much of the time. This summer they will be home and we are gonna have our fair share of "down time" and also I plan on introducing some serious chores...pay before you play type stuff...Kids today....super spoiled, man! it's one thing to give your kids what you didn't have, however They have forgotten how to earn, be bored, do nothing, simplify, earn, earn, earn. UGGG!
It's so hard to listen to a bored child. minutes turn in to hours.....BUT, I found I am doing our world a disservice by doing doing doing with my kids. there is a new sherif in town...WATCH out!

I will let you know how this goes.

lovessssssss!
me

WE at DA beach.........

2010-04-07T19:12:00.000-07:00

I have been lost in the sweetness that is : MY FAMILY.
I am so in love with the life Scott and I have created. So very thankful for the abundance that is allowing us to have this time together surrounded in beauty, beach, relaxation and laughter.
I do realize this is the best time of my life. Little children, walks on the beach with my man, giggling at our silly selves. Time with Louis and Amy. TREASURE it.
Today my neighbors Tiffany and Amy came by with their kids. I was in awe of their beauty and kindness. They are amazing women and mothers and once again I counted my blessings to have such cool women in my Hood and on my vacation, too.
Tiffany is inspiring because she came to my house when we moved in and offered to take Q to school everyday because she knew I had Gabe whom didn't go to school until 930...just thoughtful and cool to offer that. She's dope and I adore her.

Amy is drop dead Georgous and I respect her as an individual as well as a mother. Her kids are the greatest. I can't even begin to tell you about her beauty within and seriously she's fourty and naturally beautiful.

I am grateful, grateful, grateful!

Re-kindeling an OLD flame

2010-03-24T03:39:00.000-07:00

OH, how I adore photographs. as a child I would take any camera I could get my hands on and snap away. I LOVED the mystery behind the little camera. I could CAPTURE a moment in time.

I am now taking a class at Showcase and the fire has been ignited! LOOK:

messy

2010-03-03T18:50:00.000-08:00

a view of a day in the life

dealings.....

2010-03-01T03:18:00.000-08:00

No, not feeelingsssssss, dealINGSSS...

I have just been in WARRIOR mode lately. No time to Blog. We came home from our trip to Tampa to a VERY SICK dog named JAke.
He had to have an emergency surgery to remove a basketball sized tumor on his spleen. He was loosing a ton of blood. The Dr. said he really wanted to live, because he easily could have died...I never realized how attached and in love I was with the guy until he was almost gone for good;(

Anyway, he came home and it has been like having a new-born baby home again. Nursing my dog to health....no easy task...he was soooo sick. ALl better now, though;)))))

THEN>.....my computer...my coveted laptop....broke for the 3rd time where in apple agreed to give me a NEW laptop;)
Thanks to "applecare". So, that was weird. Not having my computer.....

Then boy # 2 ....Gabriel Dean....started soccer, Q has lacross and Bball championships....oy! AND to top it all off we have been doing a lot of work at the School ( very un-like us)...

We are also doing some home improvement type stuff... it's been really cool to have such a FULL plate. It's been really balanced and healthy...just tired!

Perhaps this is what people do all the time...new for me, though. Now for some momentum.

Here's some pics:

on the road again...

2010-02-11T04:06:00.001-08:00

ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!

We are off to see family in Tampa. have I told you how lucky I am? I love my in-laws!!!!! We are getting away for the weekend. Warmer weather;) And Busch Gardens...I love a good roller coaster and these look FUN!!! I am not the only one. Q loves em too. We'll be thrill seeking...I will bring my camera. Pics to come!

YAY!

bitchy itchy yaya yaya

2010-02-08T04:15:00.000-08:00

I am not your lady Marmalade!!!! Oh no. Irritiable....angry....bitchy... yep! I get this way when I feel completely overwhelmed and at a loss as to how to make my circumstances better;( If I were a braver person I would just cry...But I am not that woman...I muscle through and take prisoners....IE, my children and Scott.

I am collecting things for Haiti. That was the spark from which this spark lit a raging fire. I was in my closet and just turning around in circles...all the clothes that I buy in a size 8 or 6 in hopes that they will now fit. I would say very little in my closet actually fits me...not knocking my body. I am actually OK with it...there is, however a mental block on being a certain size or #..

Also, I get overwhelmed with STUFF...it can take me to a place of insanity. It's a crazy-maker!! Not to mention the sadness and compassion I am having for Haiti and others whom have so little due to whatever circumstances.

My kids...have no idea at how fortunate they are. I took almost all of their toys out yesterday and was sick about the WASTE. They play with 2 out of the 100 things they have. NOT ANYMORE!!!

There is very little that we actually need. When I stop to think about it.

So, piles lay about my house now. Ready for pick up.

On another note...Gabe will soon be 3...God I am so in LOVE with him!

I am in a Feng Shui mode right now. I really believe in it's deeply rooted practice. I am working on making our home and life more positively energetic. No one else around here notices it untill its better. I am highly sensetive to insanity, clutter and all that comes with it.

My anxt has a lot to do with my surroundings. Fortunatly I can re-arrange and feel instantly better....ahhhhhhhh, instant gratification.

The only problem with this mission is it's impossible for me to be kind at the same time. In order to "conquer all" I need innocent by-standers out!!!!!

Scott came home from bball yesterday and gingerly took the kids away....he knows the behavior all to well....I think he doesn't mind the results, though.

Now a word about cake and curves.... I am really getting a lot of messages lately. Two stuck out BIG for me..
1) Perspective from a woman on her death bed. She never indulged in cake, chocolate and anything of the sort. As she lay in a hospital bed about to die all she wanted to do was make up for lost time. She couldn't though. At which point she leans into tell my mother n law, "eat cake".

2) A skinny woman talked on her blog about the world wanting to be a size 2... She said, that she was thin and liked the CURVES of other women. She likes boobs ( natural occurring with larger women), hips, etc...HEY!! I have those! it really enlightened me and set me free. I am gonna work on being grateful for this body I have. What does it teach me? What does it tell me, if I choose to listen? My body mind and spirit are MORE ALIVE THAN ever!!! I am surrounded by love. I take care of my body with healthy food, I exercise consciously, I get massages, I care for my body.

I am currently doing my best.
I am a woman of my word.
Now I need to buy the 4 agreements so I can conquer the rest.

Who do u LOVE?

2010-02-06T06:58:00.000-08:00

HEART

2010-02-05T14:24:00.001-08:00

I heart YOU!

sacs of shit...a walk in the park

2010-01-19T19:43:00.000-08:00

Decided today was the day to take a walk in my favorite park by the river. I took my 4 legged "BIG GUY". It was a beautiful day.It's a 3 mile walk. The first mile and a half is like a clearing..all the garbled jumble in my head dissolves. I begin at this point to really take in all that is my LIFE. Overwhelmed with gratitude. Healthy babies. Smiling remembering all the giggles the Mr. and I shared the night before and the sweet smell of his morning hair. Proud of my commitment to my family. On and on.

THEN....there is an empty plastic bag laying in the middle of the path. I have a thing about litter. I especially feel it is my duty to pick it up in my sacred spaces. ( The beach, the river, etc.) So, I pick up the empty bag...KNOWING it was sent to me empty for a reason. I knew I would fill it with whatever I saw needed to be picked up.

I thought those things would be bottles, cans, paper of sorts.....BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. What did I encounter to fill this bag with??? A couple sacs of SHIT;) To my dismay. I did it. I picked up these abandoned sacs of dog shit...thinking to myself, "Self, why is it that people take the time to bag the shit and then leave it? Like they felt "P.C" enough to bag the shit, but did they not care enough about leaving the PLASTIC bag full of shit in the pathway? Why don't they do what I do and let your dog off the leash off the path and allow them to do there business in the woods, off the path?????? Makes sense to me. It's biodegradable, people. Well, when it's not in a plastic baggy.

Any WHO, i was getting all high and mighty on my SoaPbOx...when it hit me. THE LESSON. I can take a stance of EGO, I am great I pick up other people's shit...which I did. Then spun it ( moment of clarity) if I want to be MORE humble ( which I do) I can look at it from a stance of honor. It is my honor to take part in clean up. for many years I too, left my own "sacs of shit everywhere for others to clean up...I am sure they did. I then realize all the people that clean up my literal and figurative "messes". Too many to mention. i try not to make them. I do. Probably as long as I am living always will. So, I hereby shift. I will look at these "clean ups" as my duty as a human BEAN...and so it is...

Is anyone else out there as CrAzY as I am ? Tell me about your isms...loves it;)
xo

leslie virginia dean alterman: Where to begin???

2010-01-16T04:49:00.000-08:00

leslie virginia dean alterman: Where to begin???

Where to begin???

2010-01-16T04:06:00.000-08:00

We went to Hawaii, Kaui to be exact. It was SO BEAUTIFUL! Many adventures were had by the Mr. and I....surfing, cruising the countryside on ATV's, snorkeling and RELAXING!!!!
Scott and I were together for 8 days straight. That comes with it's own challenges and life lessons.

For the most part it was a time for Scott and I to be alone together. An opportunity to just be the two of us. That was a bit scary. Feeling stripped down to the essential, "you and me", is telling. Who are we without the distractions: cellphones, children, schedule, friends, etc.

It takes a little getting used to. I personally find the pace and idea of vacation intimidating. It's all exciting, we are going to Hawaii...and it continued to be....until like day 3, when we had surfed and ATV'd and at that point SA went to play golf alone. I spent the day in the hotel room. ( It was our only rainy day).

Things were going on with me. I was feeling uncomfortable about my appearance. How could I be this heavy? What happened? Followed up by obsessing about what I was gonna eat and how I was gonna be healthy the rest of the trip. With a FIRM resolve to get help when I got home.

As it was the ending of 2009. What a great time to RE-EVALUATE what is working and what's not working? I really missed my friends while I was there. I wanted to share time with friends as well as Scott. I get the phrase "the more the merrier". I learned that VACATIONS should be shared with friends. Not dissing my husband, he was a great partner in crime, just some things I wanted to do like HIKING, YOGA for example, he had no interest....nor did I want to play the beautiful golf courses that he dreams of.

Fortunately, our kids were being well cared for and there wasn't a worry in the world about those boys. It felt good to put some space between us. I was thinking about how to be a better mom and wife and homemaker. Less push to do what I want to do and be more about them and service. Those things truly fill me up and my selfish endeavors are important they aren't MORE important than people.

I missed my schedule. I missed routine, I missed our home. I realized how balanced and well my LIFE OURLIFE truly is. These things are hard to see in the day to day.

Upon the return, I met with a nutritionist, Alana Katz, and she has set me free of my food obsession. I am learning for the first time HOW to eat and WHEN to eat. I am not all the way to a place of understanding.The good news is I have a plan and I am working the plan. That's SUCH a relief.

As far as the kids go I resulted to participate more in school...I am a library helper on Fridays @ Q's school and will do one Friday a mo. @ Gabe's school for Sh abbot sing.

I am cooking dinner most nights, with love , gratitude and happiness. We all eat together.

I am playing with my kids more. I am balancing there schedules and responsibilities. This is an area that takes a LOT of patience and acceptance. Acceptance that for the rest of there live I will be reminding them. Planting seeds....what grows is up to God.

Lastly, I wet to Scott's step-sister's funeral this week. It was a busy week. She was suffering from her organs shutting down which was do to being obese. It was a sad way for a person to live and then die. She has inspired me to go that extra mile with my own eating and wellness. Thanks Brenda!

What was your holiday like...REALLY??? Give me the enlightened moments. What is changing in 2010?
How have you begun that process? What is working in your life and how is vacation with YOUR sig. other REALLY when y'all are together, just the 2 of you, without distractions....be REAL interested in hearing:)
xoxo

inspire me

2009-12-23T05:44:00.000-08:00

Childhood inspirations: the following are highlights of me as a young girl...

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inspire me

2009-12-19T04:05:00.000-08:00

What inspires me right now:

outside the box xmas trees

gorilla art

fire ( always and forever)

kissing

relics and religious images

What inspires you??? Please share!!!

Hope your enjoying yourselves and others!
XO
LA

a few things I've been working on and completion

2009-12-18T14:04:00.000-08:00

yesterday I cried

2009-12-14T12:54:00.000-08:00

2009-12-11T04:04:00.001-08:00

the new year is upon us

2009-12-11T03:49:00.000-08:00

1. What do you want to acknowledge yourself for in regard to 2009?
(What did you create? What challenges did you face with courage and strength? What promises did you keep to yourself? What brave choices did you make? What are you proud of?)

2. What is there to grieve about 2009?
(What was disappointing? What was scary? What was hard? What can you forgive yourself for?)

3. What else do you need to say about the year to declare it complete?

Okay, the next step is to say out loud, "I declare 2009 complete!" How do you feel? If you don't feel quite right, there might be one more thing to say...

The final step is to consider your primary focus for the year to come. What is your primary intention or theme for 2009? Is it the year of joy? the year of self-care? the year of partnership? Stand up and say it proud, "2009 is my year of...."

I found this on Superhero's blog.

I am acknowledging myself for really ExPlOrInG and voicing my art. Accepting myself and my OWN PROCESS. For going to Portland and honoring all the things my soul craves. I am a good mom and WIFE.0) Making prayer and meditation a REAL priority and being more present.

2. What to grieve about 2009...nothing really comes to mind. I take care of my grievances pretty much in the moment. I am fortunate to have learned this it is a VERY important part of my life. I guess the only thing I would like to forgive myself for is my character defects...places where EGO, JUDGEMENT, lack of patience, lack of faith got in the way...

3. I declare 2009 COMPLETE. I FORGIVE myself, I trust myself and those whom support me.

don't hate...

2009-12-09T03:53:00.000-08:00

17 days till we go to this place...just Scott and I.Looking forward to reconnecting, relaxing, sleeping at my leisure, no agenda, no schedule, no have to's, no demands, just relaxation and time w/ my honey;)

yay!!!

Grief

2009-12-07T12:41:00.001-08:00

Grief...this artist put it together well in the statues of grieving mothers.
Today i am grieving. I am sad. I am really deeply sad.

Our beloved cousin and her husband are in the hospital going through a nightmare I know all too well. Delivery of your child only to say goodbye.

To have to make split min. decisions...funeral or cremation, hold or not to hold, photographs, what to tell their 2 yr old daughter...

About o face some of the darkest most lonesome and cold days of their lives.

Having to face forward and do life again....

Having to loose the baby weight and not have a baby to show for it.

LOSS...feeling the DEPTH and WEIGHT of LOSS...

Yet, feeling the DEPTH and WEIGHT OF LOVE and preciousness of life.

J an B,

May your days be gentle. May you have so much peace and serenity during this time. Be gentle with yourselves and love one another. Honor each other's grieving process.

We will be with you in spirit. Bless you and your sweet baby...
So much LOVE.
LA

creativity

2009-12-05T04:40:00.000-08:00

My first love was photography. I can remember my father giving me his camera and assigning me the job of photographer on a beach trip. I was firing off shots like a mad woman. So sososososo AMAZED with the camera. I can CAPTURE a moment in time. This was a passion for me. Seeing as how I only saw my father once in a blue moon, I wanted to bottle him up and capture him and us in those moments...it became proof that I had a father, he existed and I existed and at times we did so together. What's more, we were having fun doing it. I was always baffeled that if we had so much fun together why was it that he only came around once in a while? ( another story for another time)

I continued taking pictures throughout my childhood with my Kodac DISC camera...remember those??? i remember shipping my film off in a special envelope and anxiously await the day it would come back full of phots....THE MYSTERY of it all...was so excited. We had to wait.

Then as an adult I briefly acknowledged this passion by attempting to take pictures of children. I wasn't ready. Bottom line I just wasn't mature enough to know how to deal with money for a picture. I didn't know how to handle myself. Believe in myself. Put a price on what I did. Be willing to take the good with the bad. I needed all good. All positive. I allowed one bad transaction to COMPLETELY stop taking pictures for life. It was a lesson.

I moved on. I went to massage school, I got maried, I had babies, I dabbled in The Artist's Way, I took classses in drawing, I learned how to crochet, I just allowed myself to re-cover and discover...i was also very busy with my family, too.

I am all over the place....what I am trying to say is it's all a process. I have many LOVES today. I don't question it. I move with faith. Faith in the process, faith in ME. I love to create, I love business, i am excited to move to the next level.

Anyway. more to come.

...cause they inspire me so!!!!!!!!

2009-12-03T04:50:00.000-08:00

I mean....Marylin, Sexy beyond belief...a full figure, red lips, wearing that beautiful one piece suit....and the dress with all that tule.....DeLigHtFul!!!!!!

Lisa Bonet....enbodiment of soul and BOHO

M.I.A. you're just cool, sexy, and brilliant

Sophia, you owe your good looks to spaghetti and I love it.....

Ladies and Gentlemen,
ENJOy!

....if ur happy and you KNOW it....

2009-12-02T04:29:00.000-08:00

So, last night I come home from visiting Santa Claus with my 2 little doodle-bugs. I see my adorable husband sitting in his "happy place" (aka the couch). I cheerfully made dinner in my Glorious Kitchen...(it was yummy).

I was cleaning up after wards and it came to me, I am ReAlLy HAPPY!!!!!!!!
Usually I think thoughts and keep them to myself. I decided to share with Scott. I in detail described to him how and why's of my JoY.....he replies, " well, if you're hAPPy and you know it..."
Can you see why I love this man? Humility is a beautiful thing.

So, if UR haPPY and U know it...share it. Let people know. Tell them the how and why of it....then clap your hands????

xoxo people,
LA

Welcome December!!!

2009-12-01T10:00:00.000-08:00

I have made a vow to celebrate each day with my kids until we leave for Hawaii! Since this is the first year we will not be home xmas day, I am making each day a mini celebration. yesterday we decorated the tree and Q said, "I LOVE XMAS", about 5 times. Gabe was so thrilled to hand ornaments. It was such a sweet moment....and we listened to :

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Nothing says xmas to me like Charlie Brown, Pumpkin spice latte's in the holiday red cup and homemade garland...pics coming soon.

By the way, thanks for stopping by...loving my comments!
Leslie

Where I have been....

2009-11-30T03:30:00.000-08:00

I have been Bikramized .....
i cmmitted to a 30 day challange...17 days into it and I have missed 3 days due to illness, Turkey and just plan ole rebellion ( I chose to see precious instead...oh, did I mention it was with my BeuTiFuL husband???
I feel good. I have had some realizations during the corse of this commitment:

1. I HEART Bikram yoga more than anything I've ever done...it covers all things. It heals my MIND, which in turn heals my life. It cleanses my body and UNITES my spirit...all that in 90 min.

2. "KILL YOUrsElF" learning to Kill the EgO.

3. ""Be gentle baby", learning to care for myself and listen to my body.

4. BALANCE

5. Determination

6. Disapline

7. stillness

8. everything is MIND ove Matter

9. attention to my energy and that being present is maximizing my energy levels

10. sweat

Women I love

2009-11-30T03:24:00.000-08:00

Slip on some self -LOVE

2009-10-20T04:35:00.000-07:00

This is my belly ;), well.....a little larger, but that "mommy pouch" is all me...Celebrating it;)

I am celebrating my body that I spend so much time hating and condemning:(

Yesterday I was at Karen's house. She is in physical pain at all times....I mean bad PAIN. SHE SAID SHE WOULD RATHER BE ME IN A "HEAVIER BODY" with NO PAIN. Message sent...loud and clear.

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Why this is ignored and not celebrated more pisses me off. Why is it that if you are skinny and don't eat we are envious? A woman was telling me at dinner the other night she got ill and dropped 30lbs. seemingly over night. It was a thyroid issue...well, all her friends said, oh, WOW!!!! you look great...she was truly disgusted by that mentally...how sick is that? Here she is practically dying and women are asking....what's your secret? Her secret.....being very ILL;)

So, here I am GRATEFUL that I am healthy and whole. Sure, my belly rolls, my face is full, my thighs still rub together a bit. I am making peace with my body.

I applaud all women who no matter what they look like celebrate and love themselves RIGHT NOW...just the way we are. We are all lovable...

PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES, wear clothes that fit, smile ( it's your best accessory) and remind yourself you are exactly the way you need to be. Just for today LOVE your body. Tomorrow you can go back to shaming and wishing away and being mean to yourself...today slip into some self-love and acceptance.....ahhhhhhhhhhh, feels so good;)

Love you all and all your fa

do yourself a favor

2009-09-27T05:08:00.000-07:00

Read this woman's blog. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so inspired. Life is truly BeAuTiFuL...

www.nieniedialouges.blogspot.com

sooooo long Summer

2009-09-27T04:55:00.000-07:00

Summer is always wonderful. I am gonna leave you with some visions of the boys enjoying the summer. As you look think of the last time you smiled and laughed as much as these two have and do all the time. Bubbles, friends, water are the elements needed for good times...

What puts an authentic smile on your face?

Me, myself and the LiOnESS

2009-09-14T18:28:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I don't really get into my astrology...I do like that I am a lioness...LEO. We are some self absorbed CoNtRoL freaks. I can easily see that what are my biggest "character defects" are also some of my best assets as well. I am seeing my need to control for what it is and it's totally hindering my life...I have a packet full of rocks that I need to drop. I don't fully understand the hugeness of this...I just know I am on the brink of something very freeing...I just can't control it.

I know what I have to do is just take care of me, myself and that Lioness. My Leadership is a good quality most of the time and for most of my life...it has gotten me out of "ruts". Survival if you will. I can be dominating and it's a defense mechanism. This illusion of having control is an illusion. Either I am responsible or a victim and neither appeals me nor serves me anymore. Time to let it go. (plop...one rock, ahhhh)

In practical terms, this weekend Quentin celebrated 6 years of life. He wanted a sleep over. We said yes to 10 of his friends sleeping over. we had a very cool theme of "field day" games. It was a day that needed careful attention to detail and order...I am the woman for the job. I go into mode and Mega bitch is the mode I know best. Ordering Scott around, yelling and arguing and LOTS of anxiety ensues and suddenly it's about us and not Q having fun and being 6.

I realize my AGENDA CAN GET ALL IN THE WAY OF A GOOD TIME......Scott is the perfect teacher for me to learn how to let go, let everything fall where it may. It all comes from insecurity and wanting everything to go perfectly. That does come from LOVE of my son and wanting him to remember these amazing ORGANIC home based birthday parties. No MONKEY JOE, chuckie CHEESE, blah non-sense. Good ole fashioned tug of war and water balloon fights, swimming...cookie cake...mmmm.

My solution was to allow Scott to take over. Be the leader i (notice little i) would be the one who took order. Humbly being a worker among workers. Partnership. Let my HUGE EGO to take a backseat...eeewwww! So hard for me. I was so impulsive. One step forward two steps back.

This is all good stuff. It doesn't feel very good right now. I see things in me I don't like. I am changing. I am vulnerable. I am needy. I am taking good care of myself and focusing on the task at hand.

Grateful for this wonderful life. The awareness. The layer that is peeling off. My husband who trudges this road of happy destiny with me. I can be mean, mean, mean...but so can he.

I hope this makes sense. I hope it isn't lost on YOU. yes, you!

What are you learning about yourself right now? Be kind to yourself. Try to laugh and call a good friend and tell them what's really going on ( and hope they stay on the line).

PLease leave comments....they make me so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you mom, Suzy and MEG! love you ladies. Your comments make me smile.

If your a voyeur, I understand, I am too.

I gotta leave more comments for other blog peeps out there.

OY, another lesson. Give what I want to be given to me....uh, do unto others...oh, yeah. thatone...ooopppppssss.....sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

Lot's of love!

Oh, art...I started painting again...I bounce around so much. I love it! Painting is pretty mindless and freeing. It serves me when I am in these spaces. i can explore emotions. Be non-judgemental, turn off the critic, play, let go let go let go let go .... see color, mix color, dance it on the page, sling it on, tenderly apply, slash it....just flow.

I am loving making my jewelry, but it's more focused. I sewed my thumb the other day. I took the hint. I am not present enough to work with machinery right now.

I have coincidentally been bleeding A LOT in my studio...this is such a random thought, but I love blood. I am really amazed by it. It IS LIFE FORCE. It's life. We can give blood and give life. It smells like METAL...tastes like metal...gets cold and sticky the way only blood can. It's the most beautiful shade of red...We have so much blood in us constantly circulating AuToMatically through our hearts...feeding our minds and babies...my babies have my blood type...O positive...

O positive...................BLOOD, BLOOD, Blood....I am bleeding right now, all over this page. Replenishing hopefully with some sanity....pretty sure you didn't make it to the end of this paragraph....if so, thanks for allowing me to rant in a stream of consciousness kinda way.

So much LIGHT

So much LOVE

So much PEACE

So much CONTENTMENT

So much HEaLTH and wellness

blessings

gratitude, AGAIN

2009-08-22T04:23:00.000-07:00

Intention:

notice the miracle and give thanks

I have had a hell of a week. Worrying, stressing, full of fear, downtrodden, miserable, making everyone around me miserable. I needed to do it. I didn't notice that I was fearful and that from that I became MeGa BitCh!!!!

I did, then I became rebellious....defiant, stupid, angry....

A friend suggested a gratitude list. I was less than excited.

I knew that she was right. I was sick of myself and a shift in conciousness was necessary.

Here to tell you, it so works. Just when I think I have problems, I meet someone who can top it everytime...there-in lies the gratitude and knowledge, it ain't that bad.

Meanwhile on a creative front, I am on fire and so inspired by tule, ripped muslin, thread, buttons, relics, and the making of some FABULOUSLY COOL bracelets. Every single one is completely different and I have tapped an endless well....the possibilities are endless and I know when that happens it's ON!!!!!

xo/la

Walking in the rain;)

2009-08-18T03:32:00.000-07:00

I just love walking in the rain. I forgot how much I liked it until yesterday when 1/2 way through my walk it down poured. I was in the woods. the trees were in a canopy above me. It was just Jake and I. It was so quiet and peaceful. I was oh so happy;).

There were others enjoying the rain as well. Other's on the path. Then a very very very cute elderly lady and 3 kids...but it was very quiet and like we all had a secret and the rest of the world was hiding.

It just made me instantly lighten up. I have been getting way to serious and overly concerned with so much that at the end of the day is just silly.

I have been sewing away on the Bernena sewing machine my mom handed down to me. I COVET!!!! I has the sweetest little hum to it and is so agreeable and ready to try new things. She's a sweet little lady.

I feel I need to include pix. I have been so slack.

OFF to the LaKe

2009-08-06T04:02:00.000-07:00

So, I love going to the lake. I am taking my two little boys to Lake Sinclair to visit my Auntie, cousins , and a new bundle of joy named JacKsOn ;) Can't wait to see them all.

I adore the lake and my family. It's always soulfully good to be among my blood. Especially now that I really feel connected...Why is it that I feel connected??? Sewing. Me sewing is like being with my Grandmother and all those who followed her. I always remember her cross stitching in her cozy chair. She made quilts. She made everything by her two precious little hands...as does my mother. My aunts are the same...now my generation is all about handmade....

So, the lake is a place to unplug. It's water. A large body of water. Nature. Peace. Quiet.

I want to take paints. I want to take photos....so I can share the majic with you.

Hoping to find some photographs from my childhood...I am on a mission. I am doing a timeline of self. It's so interesting to see me at every age. Especially since I have a terrible memory and remember very little of my childhood...scarey!

Is anyone reading this? Please leave me a message. I need to know you're there...HEllO???iS anYbOdY ouT tHeRe????

Randomness on the 35th year of my life;)

2009-07-26T05:17:00.000-07:00

never gonna believe this, but....TODAY, my mom and I went to east atlanta ( more on that in a min.) and there on the sidewalk was a baby bird. I thought it was dead at first, but, it was alive and unable to move....looking very afraid.;( So, Mom went and got a box to scoop him up in. I've been looking this bird up, trying to figure out what it was, so I can look up the totem. I believe it could have been a black vulture. It was mostly black, with a huge black, hooked at the end, beak.

Wish I had a photo;9

Anyhoo, Mom took it to the Chattahoochee nature center to be looked at...more on that later.

We went to an authentic Aussie Bakery for meat pie and fish-n - chips...Soooo good. We also went to one of my favorite places in Atl. EARTHsHaKiNg Music....So fun with all there instruments and u can play there. I got myself a ukulele and the boys so percussion tubes...goog GOD they needed to beat on something and these were GeNiUs...

Scott took me to dinner. Chops Lobster bar...he was so romantic...opening doors (rarity), even put my napkin in my lap...that shit really works for me;) My gift ( new iphone) came out with dessert w/ and candle (sans song, thank God.) He was really cute, I smooched him all night long in our cozy booth...great conversation...so good...

Then I came home to candles in my yard...my Mom and Bro did a b/day installation in my Yard. It was really a beautiful day....ahhhh

I found a baby turtle the other day...

2009-07-25T06:28:00.000-07:00

I am really into Native American animal totems. The Native Americans believe that any animals that cross your path are sending you messages. If you pay attention to their nature it will tell you about your life, give you warnings and suggestions for your current life.

so, I was at the river walking my dog and came across a cute little baby turtle. I almost stepped on it. Talk about an animal in my path. I saved it's tiny tiny life and promptly moved it to safety.

Then looked up turtles:

Animal Symbolism

of the Turtle

Animal symbolism of the turtle deals with:

Order
Creation
Patience
Strength
Stability
Longevity
Innocence
Endurance
Protection

Those with the turtle as their animal totem can relate to the "sure and steady" message this creature brings to our lives.

It is also a powerful totem for protection as withdrawing into it's shell is an amazing self-defense mechanism.

The turtle has few predators, which gives it an innocent energy. This also increases its lifespan, and so holds the symbolic meaning for longevity in many cultures.

Because of its seemingly wide-eyed, long-lived, carefree attitude the turtle is often thought to be the wisest of souls among the animal kingdom. We would all do well to take this as a lesson and move at our own pace as the turtle does.

Furthermore, the turtle takes its wisdom one day at a time - not reacting, simply accepting and moving on in its natural methods. Again, this is a powerful analogy for humankind, and we would benefit from adopting the same behavior pattern.

Tutles share an association with water, which lends meanings of motion, intuition and emotion to the myriad of more symbolic meanings of the turtle.

Other associations for the turtle include:

Water
Winter
Humidity
Venus (Roman)
Aphrodite (Greek)
Northern directions
Lunar (moon aspect)
Feminity (except in African lore where it is considered a male symbol)

In China and Japan the turtle is a symbol for longevity.

In Asian myth the turtle represents cosmic order:

Its shell is symbolic of the heavens
Its body symbolic of the earth
Its undershell represents the underworld.

Furthermore, it is considered to have brought about the creation of the universe from its parts.

Divination or foretelling has been known to be conducted by reading a turtle's shell and underbelly. These parts of the turtle are said to depict a map of the stars and sacred writings. Furthermore, most turtle shells are divided into thirteen sections which is associated with the thirteen phases of the moon in a year.

I hope you have enjoyed this page on animal symbolism of the turtle.

Back to Water Animal Totems List

What animals are crossing your path. What are they telling you. Pay attention....it's really COOL!!!!!

Love to My Unravelling Family

2009-07-17T10:56:00.000-07:00

I am so very pleasantly surprised at the newest and very BEST e-course I've ever taken. It's called UNRAVELLING. It's by the very talented Susannah Conway. If you are wanting a new challange creatively her course is the one for you. I will post some pics from class...

well, they are now above....any who...you should check out her course to understand the photos better. I think she has one coming up in the fall.

Love the people that are in my class and when you come to visit...PLEASE leave a message;) I will visit you 2.

I will do yet another blog..possibly tomorrow...to share more on my body image and those ExPloRations...

Blog antimidation

2009-07-13T04:35:00.000-07:00

I am officially BLOGANTIMIDATED. I want a cool blog and I am so very challange...what's html???what RSS...oy vey.

I want music ( the optional kind not the kind that plays when you visit).

I need to do more photographs, video,

PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY...

Most of all I want people to read it and make comments....nice ones....

I want to give a shout to all my fellow UNRAVELLERS!!!! yay! ( an e-course by Susanah CONWAY)

I am excited to begin. I know I will be enlightened and it will probably help me in the blog arena.

I need help...suggestions welcome:) be NiCe!!!!!!!!

2009-07-12T18:31:00.001-07:00

Yes, yes I am

2009-07-12T18:30:00.001-07:00

I am mobile blogging?

catching up

2009-07-01T09:29:00.000-07:00

YOYOYOYO, my peeps. Today was not off to the best start. Q woke up with a cold...or something...we had to leave early to pick up my car wich cost so much money to repair...Then SA crashed into a really nice Range rover and Q and I were standing there watching it...he was late to a Dr. apt for his poor wrist...then I started feeling ill...the best thing we've done is relax at home. not a good day to try and accomplish things.

We've got the 4th of July coming up...not one of my favs. I like fireworks, but the mosquitos...not so much.

thinking about my birthday. I will be 35 on July 25...wow. Coming to terms with my body and the aging process. I am not who I was in High school. I heard "high school skinny" on the radio this morning. They were talking about diet pills. Lately I have been dreaming of High school Skinny...obsessively. Yesterday i had a new thought..."what if I didn't spend so much time picking my body apart? or obsessing on my dbl chin and tummy? What if I accepted myself as is RIGHT NOW. That is an attainable goal. Truth be told I am ok with my body right now. I am HEALTHY!!! I am the healthiest I have ever been,,,body, mind and soul...so i like to eat...well, I also like to exersize. So, there's that...

My birthday needs to be acknowledged. i want to have a party. Two possibly. I want to have a tea party at my house with my girl friends. I would also like to go to dinner w/ SA.

I need to celebrate my LIFE. I have really done some amazing things. so, I will be looking for inspiration I want it to be cool for my friends, too. Party favors...

Please leave a comment or ideas.

A to Z graditude

2009-06-04T04:41:00.000-07:00

Artfiberfest

Breakfast

Coffee

Divinity

Exersize

Fun

Gaigers-duh!

Hugs

Innocence

Jake

Kombutcha

Love

Makeup

New Swimsuit

Ocean

Past

Quentin-DUh

Rest

Scott

Tunes

Universal fLoW

Veins

Wishes

xporting

Zzzzzzzzz's

What are you grateful for?

Gratitude

2009-05-29T04:24:00.000-07:00

Grateful for this man.
I said in my last post and I'll say it again, nothing could of prepared me for the blessing that is Scott;0

Never have I experienced love, tenderness, laughter, authenticity, acceptance, joy, and closeness of this kind.

I am blessed blessed blessed....not to mention he's easy on the eyes

grateful for:

June 24-28, 2009

This will be our 5th anniversary of doing Artfiberfest but our first year of holding it at the fabulous Reed College in Portland, OR! The date is set for June 24-28, 2009 and we are super excited to offer fresh, new and unique workshops along with exciting after hours activities. The retreats we hold (Artfiberfest, Artfest and Journalfest) are the perfect place to recharge your batteries, form long lasting friendships with like- minded artists and leave bursting with creative energy.

Artfiberfest is a unique experience where artists come together to cre- ate, share, learn from each other and be nourished. We attract the best art teachers to come teach the latest crazes in the fiber arts along with fresh and original ideas and techniques. New friendships are formed and ideas are revealed, renewing your sense of self, your talents, your own creative vision, and a deeper understanding of yourself as an art- ist.

The workshops are full day, 6 hour sessions designed to provide not only several techniques learned throughout the day but time enough to actu- ally work on what has been learned so that it can sink in. The teachers come from all over the United States and represent some of the best in their fields.

One of the highlights this year will be the fabulous dorms that were just finished building in the fall of 2008. They were designed with sustain- ability in mind and are LEED (Leadership in energy and environmental design) certified. The Dorms are each 3 stories with an elevator. The bottom floor has a study room, a living room, a dining room, a kitchen and has the look and feel of an ultra hip condo, not a college dorm.

The evening activities this year will include the popular Artists’ Market- place on Friday night, providing a rare opportunity to buy original art- work from many of the best fiber artists around the country. On Satur- day night, we hold a Show-n-Tell where we invite all attendees to bring what they have made during the event to a large room where we can all see who made what and in which class. Many have said this was among their favorite evening events at Artfiberfest. Something new for 2009 will be a fun evening of 3 extra workshops where Pam Garrison, Charlotte Lyons and Reenie Hanlin will demo 3 fabulous projects that will inspire you. Click here to see more info on the mini workshop demos. Wednesday evening kicks everything off with a meet- ing to explain all the happenings and introduces you to the teachers.

In addition, we offer a gallery so that the attendees can create works of art that can be for sale....or not for sale. We do this to allow the attendees an opportunity to make a few bucks to supplement their ex- penses. This is always an inspiring show that everyone loves. You can submit up to 3 pieces. No jury. More details will come in your confirma- tion packet.








			grateful for our health sunshine today opportunity renewal clarity grace surrender solitude loss dissappointment growth connection what are you grateful for?

download info.pdf

What now, what next...a tale of overwhelm.

2009-05-27T04:21:00.001-07:00

DoI....gotobootcamo, veg in front of tv and watch sappy dramas and have a good cry, meditate, sleep, organize my studio, clear...make space for new, listen, be productive. What will serve me best.

I have a good bit of time all to myself today. These are my common thoughts when I have "free time". MYsOuL is yearning for a good long cry and sleep and nurturing, it wants to just sit and watch the rain, do one thing at a time and be sooooo simple. My mind says gogogogogogo...boot camp, into actionSISTER!!! Hustle, you've got A lot of weight to loose!!!! The artist wants clearing and organization to make space for new thoughts and new works. The mother wants to rest so that when it's time to be with my kids I will be FuNand PlAyfuL, the wife in me wants to plan a wonderful dinner for my hard working adorable husband.

I do know that in order to serve others we must take time for ourselves. So, I think it's time for so self-care. I gotta get off this gogogogo machine and be still...YuCk! i never like that truth when I am in this space. but i also know it will serve me best. Otherwise I will needlessly flap my wings and go nowhere...hummingbird styles:)

Does anyone out there go through this? When I see you all out there in the world you all seem so together and stuff. What do you do to take care of yourself?Please share!

xo.

LVDA

HApppY Anniversary To US!!!

2009-05-26T16:59:00.000-07:00

This time seven years ago I was a newly wedded woman. To this man. All I can say is I find out everyday how incredibly lucky I am to be married to such an incredible human being. I love being married to you. You are my favalish, sevey forevie man...da da ddddoooooo:)

xoxox

new work and really cute boys

2009-05-18T16:50:00.000-07:00

cutest boys o' mine dancing

the kids love drawing on the floor with chalk

my mother's day gift to my MoM...

Please feel free to leave comments. I love hearing from all u beautiful people!!

Hope you're all happy and well...yay!

MOM!!!!!

2009-05-10T05:19:00.000-07:00

Vintage Barbara:

I want to give a shout out to my MoM:)

Dearest Mom, You are the best MoM I could ever have. I love you and adore you.

hiGhLigHts:

I remember when I was little and we would make friendship tea together, have matching "tonSURton" sweatshirts, I used to borrow your shoulder pads and clip on earrings, I loved being in your closet and playing in all your clothes, I remember mornings crawling into you lap and getting some cuddles while you were in your robe and having coffee :)))), I will always remember when times were tough for me I could AlWayS rely on you for comfort and UnCondItiOnal LOVE!!,

you are a constant source of inspiration to me. I thank you for all you've taught me. I am who I am because of you.

You are BeAtiFul and WondErful!!!!! I hope you have a splendid DaY and revel in your MotherHoodedNesS....

me and The GaiGeRs

2009-05-06T05:39:00.001-07:00

sOmEthiNg FuN ANd NeW

2009-05-06T05:32:00.000-07:00

Hello Fancy pEoPle Of the world I am gonna share something fun for you all to try and share with others:

wallsnotebook.com

DO IT!!

I want to share with you!

2009-05-05T19:35:00.000-07:00

JOYYYYYYYYYYful day!

First and foremost,,,let the angels sing!!!!Gabriel is on his way to homeostasis! God bless that little guy, he's been so sick for the past month. I look very forward to the day I am not having to pour drugs down his throat.

I have actually enjoyed being at home with him and nursing him back to health. I have planned on doing nothing more than holding him and loving him until he's all better. Life is so good when I drop the bag of expectations....ahhhhhh.

What else? i'll tell You what else! I took my first of what I can tell is gonna be many a sewing class. I have stayed away from my sewing machine that my mother gave me for WAY too long and yet, I am right on time...if ya know what I mean.

I was so intimidated by the sewing machine and the sewing world...while secretly i ADORE fabrics and all things having to do with sewing....pins and pin cushions, seam rippers, BobbInS, thread, ribbon, stitch witchery....etc.

I did take HoMe Ec. and by the way, that teacher LOveD me! :) I was so into it! I remember we made a bag..I don't think i have done anything since then, though.

My mOm will Be so proud! I stayed away from it for the longest because my MothEr is the MOTHER of all things sewing. She can do it all and she does it all REALLY ReAllY well!!!!!!!! So, why bother? I would never meet her standards, well, I think I might have the gene after all. Not the perfection that she has, but the love and appreciation...oh, yes.

MADE WITH LOVE:

That's what I love about it. Handmade stuff. I love Handmade, I love the artistry and effort and yes, the love...Add love to anything and it makes it better....food, babies, relationships, your motha's day....God, please don't forget your motha!

Anyway...I'll attach some class photos and some of my projects. We're in it together people!

So, go on your way, take some risks and add some love.

Peace and blessings,

LtothaVtothaDtothaA

I want I want I want

2009-04-29T18:50:00.000-07:00

Anthropologie I want that cute dress, blouse and bag

Freee People I want that jumper in my size, damn

Alt. Apparel...i want that cute 2 layered dress and everything orange

Jcrew i lust over your swim suits

Jeans from AG, I want

Frye shoes, Iwant I want I want

Hey, hEy, HeeEEYYYYY

2009-04-28T18:01:00.000-07:00

I am back.....I have been gone way too long. I am a bit discouraged that I am not able to figure out how to add some things to my blog and I have allowed my BLOCk to stifel me. ALSOOOO, I have Not been painting or really creating....We have been entertaining our Family and I got totally involved in them and my cute nephew. oooooohhhh, yeah and my WHOLE family was sick......except me.

This week i am playing catch up...laundry, hiring some help, firing some help, cooking, cleaning,working, mommying....I am a busy momma.

I know, I know everyone is busy....I just, as my adorable neighbor discribes me....a hampster on a wheel or a rat in a cage...and then we sing, "dIsPItE aLl mY RAGE I am StIlL jUsT a RAT in A CaGe".., it's funny. I am kind of not at all cut out to be keeping a schedule, volenteer, co-host, yadayada.

I am feeling challenged and anxious and like I am spinning my wheels. I need help. I am so not cut out for all of this. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh.

i am gonna b back in a while...ill b better..God help me.